The Art and Science of Moving On
Moving on isn’t easy, whether it’s from a relationship, a time in your life, or a loss. This is because as humans, we have a tendency to hold on for as long as possible, so when we are forced to move on, we find ourselves lost and in pain. We might even feel like we have failed.
This isn’t the case, though, and successfully moving on form what ails us can put this reality into the light. Moving on sounds simple, but is a complex process that can take a long time.
Luckily, there are a few ways to speed up the time that it takes to move on, and we’ve listed them below. You may also want to consider meeting with a Calgary grief counsellor or a counsellor in your area.
To accept that things are changing is the first step to moving on. This can mean accepting that a dearly beloved family or friend has passed away, accepting that the love of our life has left us behind, or accepting that we are getting older and that life in general is changing. To accept, we must stop hoping for things to be like they used to be and acknowledge that life will go on.
Often times, after a hardship, we are left with feelings of anger and resentment towards someone, something, or a specific situation. Learning to forgive will help you to move on. Forgiveness doesn’t have to be a big deal- it can be as simple as telling yourself that you forgive the person or situation that has caused you pain and promising yourself that you won’t hold onto anymore resentment. Or, if there is a person that you need to forgive, you can consider telling the person- either face to face or indirectly- that you forgive them. Telling the person that they are forgiven allows us a sense of relief and takes some of the extra weight off of our shoulders.
It’s amazing what a quick talk can do for someone who is trying to move on. By talking to someone we trust, we are opening ourselves up and helping ourselves to grieve and accept what has happened. We are also given the sense that our feelings are valid and important, and in turn, we can more easily process said feelings.
Taking time out is almost always beneficial when we are trying to decipher our feelings and move on from something (or someone). Taking a day or two to just relax and be one with our feelings can help us process them faster and in turn, help us heal. A few good ways to take a time out are to take a day or two off work or school, go camping for the weekend, shut off and unplug from our mobile devices, or go to a retreat such as the St Micheal’s Retreat in Alberta, Canada. It’s important to remember that a“time out” doesn’t have to be long to be beneficial.
Although moving on takes time and causes us pain, we all have to move on from something eventually. Having the skills and knowledge to cope can help us move on faster and heal from our ordeal more completely.